A Letter to You
by TheLateNightWriter93
Summary: A short one shot. R&R. The language used may not be suitable for young viewers.


A Letter to You

To: Clary

I look at our old text messages and see how silly we once were. And it just makes me so sad to know how fucking crazy you actually are. I thought I knew you. I thought we were in love. I thought we would never have a fight. Well now look where we are. We went from being in love to strangers.

I wish I knew what you were thinking that day. I wish I knew what the fuck happen that got you so pissed off with me. But I never will know, because you didn't talk to me. You were quiet and then you left. I wish you would have talked to me. Now I'm just left here thinking what I did wrong.

But to be honest, I shouldn't dwell on it any more. I try and not think about you because all it leads to is me becoming angry and asking questions that will never be answered, because you're not here to hear me ask them.

I'm so fucking pissed off at you, I hope you know that.

I wish I didn't care, but I do. I hate you so much, because I was always there for you and now you're no longer here for me. I know you don't care and you're probably moving on with your life, laughing and hanging with your friends not thinking about me or what I'm up to. I bet you don't look down at your phone and scroll through our old text messages. I do, and that's why I get pissed off at myself and at you.

Sometimes when I have no one to talk to, I think about you and what you would say if we were still together. I know I have to get over this and let you go, god knows you probably already have. I wish you were here so I could yell at you and tell you I'm hurting. But you're not, and I'm just sitting here again, looking down at my phone, scrolling through our old text messages.

I'm sorry I'm so repetive; I'm not very good with words.

I need to let you go, I know that. It's time for me to forget, but I'll never fucking forgive you. If by chance I ever do see you again, I can promise you I won't look at you the same, because we will be strangers, who know nothing about the other.

After this, I won't think about you anymore. I'll delete all the pictures we took together, and all the texts messages we sent to each other. I don't want to remember you anymore. I want to forget and pretend our relationship never happened. But deep down, I know our relationship was real.

I just can't keep putting myself through this pain. I hate the ache in my chest and no matter what I do, it won't go away. I hate every fucking thing about you, I hate that I still love you, and I hate that I still have all the things you gave me.

Someone once said: all pain will heal with time. Well, I just wish time will move faster so I can get over it sooner.

One day you'll see this, and you'll know it's from me. And I hope you feel horrible after reading it. Knowing I went through all this fucking pain just because of you. I hope you'll regret everything you did. And when you realize you made a huge mistake, and come looking for me, just know you won't find me. I will never be there for you, never again.

When you need someone to help fix you, no one will be there in the end. And when you remember I was always there to heal you, know I no longer give a shit. So go fucking fix your damn self, because I need to move on with my own life.

Signed- Jace

Someone who now no longer cares about you anymore.

A Letter to You

To: Clary

I hate that I'm writing to you again. I guess trying to get over this thing is harder than it looks. I saw a peach flowered hair band today and thought of you. You loved the color peach. I don't understand why but my favorite color is any shade of blue, so I guess we're not that different.

God, I wish you would just text me. No matter how pissed off I still might be at you, I would of responded.

I guess I should tell you the truth of what's going on.

Okay, here goes…

I'm a complete and utter disaster. I'm falling apart and there's no one here to help me up. I'm losing myself.

I put on a good show for people, I seem just fine to them. But, I'm screaming on the inside. I feel like I can't escape, like I'm blocked in by four white walls and there's no way out.

Even when I look in the mirror, I don't see myself. I see a stranger. I see the scares you left me with. I see the _mess_ you left me with.

I'm a fucking disaster, a mess, and I'm losing the game.

I can now ask the question why you affected me so much. Maybe it was because I finally found someone that was just like me, a person who wasn't afraid to be goofy and weird.

I guess it's not me pretending that our relationship never happened. It's you, you're pretending like none of this shit ever happened.

I wish I can walk away and breathe normally. You're everywhere I go, I see you in the bright clothing people wear. I hear you in songs I listen to. I see you in the in the clouds that float in the sky. I hear your voice at random times.

I wish someone would help me because the memory of you is causing me too much pain, and I can no longer live with it. It's starting to tear me apart.

I guess this is my punishment, because this feeling of pain is forever endless.

Sometimes I think it's funny, why I'm feeling like this. I ask myself, why I let you in in the first place. And then I laugh even harder because I got a matching tattoo with you, on my 21st birthday. I guess that's why the pain will last forever. It's on my left hand, lining up with my thumb, it says Le Melin: I love you, because we both love Lord of the Rings. We got it in the same spot, written in the same style, and shaded the same way.

I just don't know where I'm going with this. I have been feeling so shitty lately, and it doesn't help that I can't talk to you. So I guess this is goodbye, I'll try to fix myself. But I won't do this for you; I will do it for me and me only.

I'll live my life now, I'll move on.

Signed- Jace

Someone who is trying to move on with their life.

A Letter to You

To: Clary

I forgive you.

It took me awhile, but it's true. I forgive you.

I'm still not who I use to be, but that's okay. It made me grow up.

All the pain I went through after you left was for a reason. It formed me into who I am today. Someone who will realize what they have and never let it go.

I want you to know, I still love you. Every time I see something that reminds me of you, I don't get mad any more. I smile.

For a while I was in denial. I would come home and think you would be there. But you never were. So I moved out of our apartment and got my own place. It helped me move on. I no longer felt like I was sleep walking, or like time was standing still. No longer do I feel the burn in my chest, like I did all those months ago.

I still have the tattoo. I won't get it covered up or removed. First of all, it's too much to get it removed. And second, it tells me what I went through to get where I am today. So every time I look down at my hand, and trust me you look at your hands more than you realize, it helps me remember that I'm no longer who I was.

I'm sorry this letter is short, but I just don't have much to say any more.

I hope you're doing well, and everything is working out for you.

I will never stop loving you.

Signed- Jace

Someone who now forgives you.


End file.
